goodnight

sometimes i like to fall asleep mid-sentence with my hand on your heart and your lips on my forehead.

after midnight in real life

The rain in Wellington today makes me think of this moment...

The Sunday before last, when I was home down in Christchurch, I took a little time away from everything to visit the '185 Empty Chairs' memorial on Cashel Street. There are no words, only a horrible aching silence.

i miss autumn

One of the things I miss most about living down in Christchurch is autumn. It's so beautiful to walk through Hagley Park, in the crisp April air, carrying a handful of crunchy leaves home in my pockets. I'm a little sad that Wellington doesn't have the same gorgeous Autumn leaves and I always find it surprising just how colourful the city becomes when I go home.

Pretty Autumn leaves in Tuam Street, Christchurch

One of my favourite words is 'autumnal' it just has a warm and soft sound and it's especially wonderful when my dear friend Laura uses it to describe something lovely.

Still... we do have stunning bright red pohutakawa trees all through summer in Wellington. It helps a little.

Then, shaken, her heart strangely stirred, her mind chaotic, she walked slowly homeward.

from Taken at the Flood by Agatha Christie, p.82

our little Xmas tree x

This is our first Christmas here in Wellington. Hurrah! I'm loving the bright red pohutakawa trees and the sneaky glimpses of sunshine. And also the hussle and bussle of it all: having everyone together, how talking to strangers in the street becomes perfectly acceptable, and the final christmas eve shopping panic.

I love our little tree with its odd collection of decorations - some found over the last few years and one or two homemade paper ones.
And the smell of pine is just so good. Merry Christmas!

the long straight road to geraldine

Last week we got out of town. We flew down to Christchurch to pick up our new old car from my brother. He feed us a home-cooked meal and gave us a warm bed to sleep in.  In the morning we drove on to Geraldine to visit James' brother. I loved the window views driving down, checking out the farm and hanging out with the massive cows, and a VERY yummy pizza. James loved the bunny hunt and driving the dirt bike. We did a lot of driving over the week so we are especially grateful that the car is ridiculously economical to run. I love the South Island. Everything about reminds me of camping trips. It's the sound of magpies, the way the light falls when the sun goes down, the smell of grass and saw dust and sheds. All that's missing is burnt toast and marmite.

yellow gorse flowers are beautiful in summer salads

i love wellington

a VERY wet winter in wellington

It has been a VERY wet winter in wellington. I live in a small cave in the hills of Mount Cook and have recently found out that the rain has been flooding my bedroom for quite sometime. I wish I felt the same way about having the rain in my bedroom as Mr. Jeremy feels about the pond in his larder, but unfortunately i do not and neither does my bronchitis. Still... there's nothing like a little inspiration.

"Once upon a time there was a frog called Mr. Jeremy Fisher; he lived in a little damp house amongst the buttercups at the edge of the pond. The water was all slippy-sloppy in the larder and in the back passage. But Mr. Jeremy liked getting his feet wet; nobody ever scolded him, and he never caught a cold!"

from The Tale of Mr. Jeremy Fisher by Beatrix Potter

home is whenever i'm with you

there's a band practicing this upstairs in the tea gardens. i caught a few notes of it walking by and it makes me want to go run around in a field for the rest of the afternoon.

home for the weekend

i didn't go home for almost a year after the earthquake.

i guess i didn't want to see my city until i felt there was more hope. i think it's a bit like seeing someone you love really unwell, somehow it destroys your memory of them.... i didn't want to see christchurch because i didn't want my memories to change. 

what i loved about my time back home was that all the things i love most about christchurch are still there. and yes these things are different from how i remember, but somehow it's all still the same.

 the shipping crate shops on cashel street

some streets in the central city are still blocked off

i caught the ferry across from diamond harbour to lyttelton 

 i love you lyttelton coffee co.

this is the site where the building i once worked in stood.

there's a lot of love and hope in lyttelton. there are also heaps of cool people with great ideas.

so i can't wait to see it in a year from now.

curly fries and apple strudel

tonight i spent a quiet evening with my beautiful laura. we shared curly fries and played strange food related board games. and while i was gone, my love made homemade apple strudel. oh my i feel very lucky to have two such wonderful people around me.

grief

i am mourning. an entire city is suffering. there is an emptiness in the fallen bricks. missing people. quiet. and those found that will not share the hope still left. i know it is selfish for me to feel isolated in what has been endured. i wish i could help boil the water, sweep up the ceiling from the floor, light the lamps, comfort my little brother and find the cat. i can only give my love and a hug. over the telephone. i was not there. and i feel that.

here are some words.

I did not know what to say to him. I felt awkward and blundering. I did not how I could reach him, where I could overtake him and go hand in hand with him once more.

It is such a secret place, the land of tears.

from The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupery